Hi. I’m Laura.
And I believe in love.
I believe in hope.
I believe in family.
I want to tell you a story. It’s a story that started a year ago. It’s actually a story that continues to unfold each day.
It’s the story of my mom and her fight with cancer. But it’s more than that. It’s a story of the strength of love, hope, prayer, family, friends, and courage. It’s her story. It’s my story. And it’s a good one.
A year ago, I got very devastating news. While on a medical mission trip to Guatemala, my mom suffered a sudden onset of weakness. My family was all fairly certain she had suffered a small stroke and were eager to get her back into the states to get her the care she needed. When she made it home and to UCSF Medical Center, a CT scan gave us news none of us could bear.
Cancer.
Brain cancer. 10 lesions on her brain.
Hearing this news was so unbelievable. I cried so hard. I can walk through my house and point to the places that I broke down in hopeless tears. I can remember crying myself to a restless night of a few hours of sleep, and then waking up to the horror of this reality and just sobbing uncontrollably in my bed. Have you ever woken up crying? HOW could this be happening? Not my mom!
NOT MY MOM!
NO! I remember just screaming NO NO NO!
I can walk you down the halls of the hospital and show you where I lost it, fell to the floor, and wept. I can show you where I stood embracing my dad while we both shook with uncontrollable sobs. In that moment, I really had no hope. My mom had already survived a malignant melanoma, and we were certain that it was back, and in her brain. Not a promising diagnosis.
I believe that it is a huge testament to the type of mother my mom is that within 48 hours of her being admitted to the hospital, her entire family was by her side. We all sat together without the noise and distraction of our kids (there was a No Child policy, due to the H1N1 virus). We all sat, just the family I grew up with, in a closed room, and we talked. We cried. We tried to process. And we talked about my mom’s wishes. Paperwork needed to be signed. She whispered to me where she thought it would be nice to have her ashes sprinkled.
So unbelievable. No one wants to have this conversation.
Every post needs images, so here are mine. These were taken before she became to weak to make it downstairs. The only way our kids could see her was if we brought her down to the waiting room. Looking at these images always makes me cry. When I took them, I really didn’t know how much longer my mom had. I didn’t know if it was the last time my children would see her. The room was so full of love and pain. Photography took on a whole new meaning for me after this. I will always cherish these photos and since then I have made it a point to capture more images of my family. You just never know. You never know.
My mom and daughter have always had a very very special bond.
There’s me. Unwashed hair slapped into a pony tail and glasses because contacts just can’t handle so many tears. Look at my mom. Isn’t she wonderful?
Her newest grandson, just one month old. She had spent a month helping out my sister and loving on her grandson before she left for her medical mission trip to Guatemala. She had been carrying him up and down the stairs just weeks before, and now, she was struggling to even roll over in bed.
And so began my mom’s journey. She was diagnosed with Stage IV Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma of the Brain, a much more treatable cancer than malignant melanoma. My family cheered when we got the news that it was a lymphoma. She underwent grueling chemotherapy for months and months. She fought hard. We all fought hard. We all were there to love her and support her, and she too loved and supported us, because she’s a mom. And that’s what she does.
She is the strongest person I know.
There are so many details to this story. So many small victories. So many scary moments. So.many.questions.
It made me realize things about my own family. Not only do my kids rely on me, but I rely so heavily on them. I took this self portrait to try to convey that feeling.
And when mom was well enough to come home, we gathered to welcome her home and get a family portrait. The only one we’ve ever attempted to get.
My daughter and mother’s hands. On a walk. A glorious wonderful walk with her grandma.
And then in October, the word we all had so anxiously waited to hear: REMISSION. My kids and I danced in the streets!
And some very recent pictures of my mom with my kids. They love her. She loves them. It’s all very awesome and lovey when they are together.
And don’t even get me started on how much I love this image.
As I write this, a year after it all began, my mom is at home living independently. While I wish I could say that with remission comes your normal life, that isn’t the case. Each day is a struggle for her. While she has regained a lot of strength, her energy just isn’t what it used to be. That wonderful woman pushes herself each and every day. She fights for her strength and her life all the time.
I have so much respect for my mom. She has a loving heart and has spent her entire life trying to make the world a better place. I love her more than I could ever express. We have wonderful conversations almost daily. She’s a thinker.
On March 2, my mom will be getting another brain MRI. She has had more problems with weakness lately, and the doctor felt it was time for another check. For any of you who have had cancer in your life, you know that there is always that fear that it will come back. I have allowed that fear to come into my mind, wash over me and drown me, and then I have tried to let it go. Worrying will accomplish nothing. If you are the praying type, or the send-good-vibes type, I ask you to do so for my mom.
The world isn’t finished with her yet.
I love you, Mom.
Taryn Chrapkowski
February 23, 2011
What an amazing story to share. Your images are simply wonderful and should be cherished for a lifetime. Thank you for sharing you and your family’s story. I will send all the happy and healthy thoughts possible for March 2nd!
Carrie
February 23, 2011
Thank you Laura! Thank you for sharing this story, the amazing images and a big piece of yourself. I will be thinking of your mummy and you and the family on the 2nd. Big hugs xoxo
Tania
February 23, 2011
Wow Laura, what an amazing journey…not to mention the art you selected to mark your way along this path…what a beautiful family you have.I will keep your mom in my prayers and hope that she continue to health!
Amber
February 23, 2011
Beautiful Laura. I love that your images tell a story without having to read the words–the emotions are SO strong!! hugs!!
Rachel
February 23, 2011
What a beautiful heartfelt post. Your family is amazing!
Jessica Deane
February 23, 2011
This is why photography is so important……this is what its all about! Capturing the moments we will never see again…. and the ones we dont want to forget.
Thank you for sharing your story! I’m so thankful your mom is in remission! I pray for her whenever I think about you and she pops in my mind. I will continue to say prayers for a healthy road ahead of her!!
Bless you Laura MO. I could only imagine how hard this past year has been…. but u know one thing I noticed? You uplifted your mom, your family… love….. you didnt uplift the cancer.
{HUGS}
Kristin
February 23, 2011
Dear Laura, you didn’t even need words for this post. I can read the story through your beautiful, heart-warming images. Big hugs to you and your mom.
Carrie Chavez
February 23, 2011
What a story! You my dear Laura are a true gift from God! I am covering your Mom in prayer. On my knees.
Harry E. Haugh
February 23, 2011
Laura…. Thank you so much for sharing your story and pics…..Your mom (my aunt) is such a wonderful woman. I am so glad that her cancer is in remission, and I pray it stays that way for a long time to come.
Barbara Hurst
February 23, 2011
You have such a way with words Laura and it is such a gift you have with your many other talents. Beautiful post and images.
Brandi-lee
February 23, 2011
What an amazing and beautiful heartfelt post. The photos told the journey so well, keeping your Mum in my prayers always xx
Julie Kraai
February 23, 2011
Tears. I’ve never met you (but have followed your work — it is gorgeous), and I have tears streaming down my face, reading this beautiful tribute to your dear mom, and to love, and to life.
Many, many prayers sent to your entire family, especially your mom.
Kathleen
February 23, 2011
Oh Laura, so many prayers for your family and your sweet mama. I pray that the scan goes well. I love yoru heart for your mama. I think it says a lot about you as well as her. She made a beautiful wonderful woman in you.
Natalie
February 23, 2011
i now know where you get your spirit! you can see it in her eyes… she is truly a lovely woman! And your photography of this past year is remarkable. hugs!
Shelby
February 23, 2011
Thank you for sharing your family’s story. I love that you shared images that told stories within themselves. I will be thinking of you all on March 2.
Wende Trew
February 23, 2011
What a great story Laura! Thanks for sharing it with us. Your mother seems to be a wonderful person and I can’t wait to meet her!! I will keep your Mom and family in my prayers and know that everything will be okay!! Love ya girl!!
Melissa Corcoran
February 23, 2011
Beautiful, Laura. I will be praying for her…
Beth
February 23, 2011
These images speak 1000 words. Praying for a clean report.
amy
February 23, 2011
thank you for sharing this very touching story. so happy for your mom and family. yay remission! your images are beautiful and so so so special!
Nancy W
February 23, 2011
Just beautiful Laura! Your love for your mom shines through. SHe continues to be in my prayers.
Claire
February 23, 2011
Thank you for sharing your story. You have an amazing family. Praying for all of you.
Terry Arnold
February 23, 2011
Laura, your tribute to your sweet mama is so moving and full of love. I “met” you after the diagnosis, and have followed this journey with many prayers sent up for strength to endure the road ahead. I’ve also been praying for peace when life seems to be falling apart, joy for today and hope for tomorrow. I truly understand what your family is going through and love that you have all rallied around your mom and supported each other all the way through process.
The images you shared tell this story of hope in a way that touches the hearts of those walking alongside you on this journey. Bless you, my friend, and I’m praying for reports of victory next week!
Amy
February 23, 2011
Laura…. Wow. This is an interesting post for me. My mother-in-law (and my 2nd mother) is dying of cancer as I type this. She had Stage IV colon cancer that recently spread to her liver. She’s now at home under the care of hospice and is at the end of her battle (maybe 1-2 weeks left). We have been traveling back and forth to be with her and are getting ready to leave this weekend to be with her for the last time. So, so hard. I know all about the roller coaster that cancer is. And I am so thankful that your mother is on the “up swing”. Praying for a clean scan.
JoNell
February 23, 2011
Thank you for sharing your families story. You have an amazing family. This is what photography is all about. Capturing those special people & moments in our lives. Will keep praying for your mom.
CKH
February 23, 2011
Laura what an amazing family you have, an amazing mom and what a touching story. I think you are such a wonderful person! Beautiful and touching images.
Kel Ward
February 23, 2011
Wow, Laura. What an amazing story about an amazing woman and her family! These photos are BEYOND beautiful!! Seriously. I love each and every one of them and I totally cried while I read this blog post and viewed your photos.
Wendy (Joe) Pederson
February 23, 2011
Hi Laura, I’m a friend of Trish and Jeff’s from Whitworth. I absolutely love your work and words. They brought tears to my eyes. My life, too, has been touched by the big C. My mother passed away two years + 3 months ago after living with breast cancer for 18 years. So I know how precious life is and how scary these milestone moments can be. Continue to draw strength and comfort in each other and celebrate EVERYTHING. Thank you for sharing.
Jen
February 24, 2011
Laura, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful and inspiring story with us. Your mom sounds like an amazing woman. We will be praying for your mom and your entire family.
Karen
February 24, 2011
Thank you for sharing your wonderful story of love and hope. Your photography is amazing!
Kara Layfield
February 24, 2011
Such an amazing story Laura…brought tears to my eyes. Your Mom is an amazing woman – full of strength and love.
Gail Montgomery
February 24, 2011
What an incredible story of love. There is nothing like family and no one like your mom. I am so glad you’ve been able to take all these images to share for years to come and I’m praying you have many more years worth of images to add to family’s story!
Danielle
February 24, 2011
Thank you for sharing, Laura. Keeping your mom and your family in my thoughts.
Jean Daniels
February 24, 2011
Laura, you are an amazing photographer and story teller. What a wonderful loving family you are and I feel so blessed to know you all. Tell your mom that my thoughts and prayers are with her and I cherish the week I was able to spend with you.
Zoe Berkovic
February 24, 2011
You are such a feeling and passionate person! Your Mom is lucky to have a daughter like you! Hoping that from here on out the journey just keeps on looking better and stronger every day!
Carol Morgan
February 24, 2011
Laura, I had to gather my strength to read this. Beautiifully done. I sobbed all the way through it. But it captures so much. I am sending prayers for you and your whole family. Love you.
desi
February 24, 2011
this is such an awesome post laura.
you’ve been truly blessed to have a mom as wonderful as her, and she is truly blessed to have YOU in her life.
enjoy your time with your family…it is precious indeed.
♥
Michelle Grissom
February 25, 2011
Thank you for sharing your family’s amazing journey. Your mom is a very inspirational woman. The pictures are a window to the soul.
Kate Craft
February 27, 2011
WHat a great inspiration you and your mother both are! Great post
Nicole Ridella
February 27, 2011
Laura, dear, this is such a beautiful tribute to your mom and your family. You’ve brought me to tears; first of sadness, then of joy. Thank you for the reminder to treasure every moment. I try to, but sometimes I forget. After this post, I don’t think I will forget again for a long time.
David Pittle
February 28, 2011
I remember the slide show that you and your sibs created for your mother. It was so marvelous–and told the depth of your love for her and her love for you. Your images in this blogpost are just as wonderful and emotive. Knowing your mom as well as I do, her spirit shines though your photography. You–and your sibs–are a living tribute to her and your dad.
Your mom is a bright shining star in the constellation of my life. I love and admire her, as do so many of my friends. And I find your photography evokes her spirit so well, but yours as well.
kandi lamont
March 08, 2011
I agree completely with Jess. Thanks for sharing you and your mom. Love this post and I am so glad things are going well for you mom and your family.
jaime lackey
April 28, 2011
wow laura. spending my afternoon going through your site and i run across this one! i hope the new MRI came through clean. I know a little about brain cancer. I have it myself, so yes… I feel your pain and anxiety of new symptoms. hugs to you and your mom (and family) as you all continue to enjoy life and love each other!